I will get you killed in a gunfight Pt 2

Fitness Test

I’m not talking about running a mile, or doing push up’s or crunches (if you can do those things you’re already at the head of the class). Simple things indicate fitness. So lets start.

1.Can you tie your shoes without getting out of breath?

2.Can you carry your groceries or laundry up a flight of stairs without needing a nap afterwards?

3. Can you raise your arms above shoulder level?

4. Do you need help getting up off the ground or out of a chair?

So you’re probably thinking I’m taking the piss with that first question, but it’s 100% legitimate. Now If I’m getting ready for work in the morning most of my professional attire can be pretty stiff and make it difficult for me to tie my shoes. But it doesn’t leave me breathless.  Do you bend at the waist to tie your shoes? Or do you need to sit down?

Some of these questions are related to this thing called “functional fitness” which is a quagmire of a topic and one I’m going to mostly avoid.  But defining what is functional for your life with simple activities like being able to carry in your groceries or laundry shouldn’t be something that tires you out.

I have several injuries which make it difficult for me to raise my arms above my head and usually take a few “secret handshake” type movements for me to be able to do until I’ve warmed up or stretched a bit. And finally, are you one of those people that needs help getting out of chair? Can you get off the ground under your own power?

The Fix

I am pretty well known as someone that gives no fucks. So if you’re going to tell me “hey Finn, here’s excuse X that gets me out of worrying about exercise!”  You can stop reading now. You’re dead. Thanks for all those preps though, myself and the other Zombie-Raider-Biker’s will happily take your preps which you were unwilling and unable to defend because you were too lazy to take the time to improve your health.

The cure is as complicated or unpleasant as you make it. Treadmills suck. I hate them and would only get on one to warm up if I’ve been sitting all day or was just not feeling ready to train. Cardio has its place in training, absolutely, but walking on the treadmill for an hour is the quickest way for you to revert to old habits. Treadmills are boring as shit. Avoid them.

Lifting weights is much more preferable to walking on a treadmill and is better overall for your general health. Lifting weights will make you stronger, will improve the way your body handles food (but it’s still up to you to feed the engine with the right fuel) and it will increase your cardiovascular capacity to some degree (depending on how fast you lift and some other factors). It will also improve mental clarity and helps you cope with things like anxiety, anger, and depression.

Excuse X

The point of these first posts is not to provide you training information. If you want to know more I charge $25 for 30 minute sessions. Get at me. The point here was to say ‘fuck your feelings’. The gym I train at has at least one guy in his 70’s wearing a pacemaker. He trains every day. If you need inspiration to shove that excuse up your backside, go have a look at this Marine. Or how about this soldier? Want a “regular” guy to look to? How about him? CT Fletcher had a heart attack and was literally dead. Still in the gym training every day.

So fuck your excuse. When the SHTF and I come to take your preps are you going to tell me “Oh, you can’t take my stuff! I’m ________”.




X.Female (not being sexist, this is an excuse I was once given for a client not trying)

X. my excuse doesn’t matter, you’ve already killed me before the words were out of my mouth and I was too slow to be able to reach a weapon or fight back.

So please, give me excuse X, and then let me know where you live. I’ll be happy to swing by and invert your mouth.

One Response to “I will get you killed in a gunfight Pt 2

  • SPOT ON, FINN!! I 100% agree. I have always made it a point of being physically active in my life. I fucking hate the damn excuses. Get off your ass and move. What I really can’t stand are the back-handed compliments I have received just because in comparison to some, I try to be physically fit. “Well not all of us can be a skinny fit bitch like you!” EXCUSE me, please just dismiss yourself. You have already convinced yourself that you can’t be fit because of your mentality which is 1) pathetic and 2) not my problem. Thanks for playing.

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